Five years in the country has taught me more about life than fifteen years in NYC.

10. Don’t butt heads with anyone who has bigger horns.

9. The grass is always greener when someone else cuts it, bales it, and totes it over to where you’re already lying down.

8. Better the same old milking hands every day than getting used to a whole new set of callouses.

7. If you’re not sure about something, go ahead and taste it. You can always spit it out.

6. The manure may pile up in the winter, but it keeps the barn warm. Sometimes life is just one sh*tty trade-off after another.

5. If there is someplace to stand around and do nothing that is higher up than the current place you’re standing around doing nothing, it’s worth the effort to move.

4. If everyone else is running away in the same direction, join them now, ask questions later.

3. Getting mud between your toes is not as poetic as people make it out to be. Better to stay out of the rain in the first place.

2. There’s no better pillow than someone else’s tummy.

1. Fences are mere suggestions.

by Josh Kilmer-Purcell

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