FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Sharon Springs is bracing for a winter storm, with 10-16″ of snow predicted.
The municipality has begun making the following preparations:
Mayor Doug will shut down our subway system sometime this afternoon. No trains will be running. Especially the Cherry Valley Branch, which closed down in 1942.
Our Financial Markets will remain open. However the hard candy basket on the counter is running low, and may run out completely if the roads are bad. We do not expect this to impact the European or Asian Markets.
We do not have European or Asian Markets. Just Stewarts, The Log House & Dollar General. You can get Ramen Noodles at any of these fine locations.
We don’t know if the school will close. Our kids are way tougher than your kids. Probably smarter, too. But we’re biased.
The Sharon Springs airport (yes, we *do* have one, smartypants) will be closed to all arriving and departing flights. It is anticipated to reopen as soon as we can see the grass on the runway and someone gets around to mowing it. Probably April, realistically.
Alternate side of the street parking has been suspended. Honestly, we don’t really even know what that means. We are in favor of rotating crops though, if that counts for anything.
Residents are urged to stock up on milk, eggs and bread. (Our chickens aren’t laying and the goats are dry, so if anyone wants to trade for bread, we’ll start kneading.)
We have trained a Search & Rescue K-9 Unit, ready to spring into action. Her name is Önder. Should you need to be rescued, it’s best to get lost somewhere within our yard. And carry treats.