As we gear up for the premier of Season 2 of The Fabulous Beekman Boys, we see that we’ve got our work cut out for us.  In addition to planting the garden, making the cheese, running the store, and trying to keep PolkaSpot’s ego in check, we also have to compete with the likes of Charlie Sheen (!) in order to get people excited about March 22.

As trashy and as disparaging of American culture as it may seem, we have to be honest that we, too, are riveted by gossip and scandal.

Would we know who Kate Gosselin was had it not been for that messy divorce? Nope.

Ditto for Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, and their sexual indiscretions CAUGHT ON TAPE!

After searching high and low in the Beekman to find skeletons anywhere other than the crypt, we are sad to report that we don’t have any tabloid-worthy scandals to take advantage of prior to premier (did we mention this was March 22 on Planet Green?)

This is why we need our loyal fans to not only tune in (on March 22 at 10:00pm and every Tuesday thereafter) but to help us create an official Beekman Boys scandal.

Here are a couple to help you get started:

Justin Bieber cannot actually sing.  He lip-syncs to vocals previously recorded by Fabulous Beekman Boy Josh Kilmer-Purcell!!!

or

Oscar night shocker!! Natalie Portman reveals that Fabulous Beekman Boy Brent Ridge is the secret father of her unborn child!!!

 

Record your scandal in the comments section below.  We’ll post our favorites on Facebook and Twitter.  Keep it (relatively) clean.  The Fabulous Beekman Boys is a PG rated show, after all! (and it premiers on Planet Green March 22 at 10:00pm).

by Josh and Brent

Reader Comments

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Emmit Luther

My wife an i have been waiting for season two start to see more antic's on the farm. When we just want to smile we watch reruns of the goats and Polka Spot playing dead.

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The House Mouse

In a shocking turn of events, Farmer John sits down with Oprah and reveals that it was He and not Josh who strutted his stuff as Aqua in NYC. Chaos ensues when Josh challenges Farmer John to a model-walk-off, trips him on the runway, and lets the water out of his brassiere. Brent just happy it didn't occur on Martha.

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Melody McSweeney

Here's the deal – The Fabulous Beekman Boys are not only FABULOUS – they are us. All of us with all of our idiosyncrocies and warts. We love them and will keep on watching and keep on loving – You two are gonna be just fine. . .

love

Melody

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Paula

No need for a scandal…..it's by far, the best show on TV. Can't wait for the new season to begin!!!!

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matt kovach

i thought the surprise for season 2 was that brent and josh were adopting a baby!…they're going not to now?

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James

the show, in a Candid Camera moment, surprise the boys by dropping into the farm unannounced. The boys are hanging out playing Playstation and trash-talking each other while all the gardening and farm work is being tended to by an army of gnome slaves that Farmer John whips and force feeds Twinkies to.

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Jeannie

Breaking news at 5 : Beekman brothers are sited as a thorn in the side of the worlds largest retailer

Wal-Mart stocks take a plunge as copycat Beekman's spring up across the nation .. people saying NO to cheep poorly made products and bad produce! The People are beginning to grow their own produce and buy artisan cheese and soaps from individuals rather then large corporations. No longer are they supporting the 'made is China' label.

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Trish Koch

The Audience finds that Brent and Josh are not the Fabulous Beekman Boys, they are not even boys. They are infact Lesbians Llama ranchers from Illinois intent on buying all the property in Sharon springs and turning it into a Llama resort and water park and kidnapping the goats to be used as Nubien Slaves at the park.

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jody

There are strange noises, lights flickering,and lots and lots of scarey giggles down by the barn . It happens all summer long at night on the farm…the goats have been acting wierd,huddling together almost like they are trying not to be see,and the cats are no where to be found. Then a fan watching the goat cam( at midnight) sees a flash of light, then another one..then all of the sudden there is Mary riding Polka Spot and Aqua leading the way saying…come out , come out, where ever you are……

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Ed McNamara

Rosie keeps coming back to buy her Blaak only to know Martha buy's it all up before she arrives to the festival.

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Ariel Hoffman

Josh and Brent will have a change sex operation right in the American Hotel Lobby

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SUSAN WILLS

Polka Dot seen dressed as Aqua complete with goldfish and trying to hitch ride to the Big Apple.

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Drew

They both are really straight. Josh is married to an ex-Hooters girl and Brent is dating Cameron Diaz.

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Eve Stavros

Love it!!!!! – "Josh stole pea purée". Unfortunately only Top Chef fans will get it!

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Gene

Now this I would actually go to see… (Brent and Josh are starring as Lisa and Oliver Douglas in a movie version of Green Acres. Farmer John as Eb.)

I can see the opening now with Aqua on a balcony in NYC, tossing her wig off into the wind as she heads to the farm.

OR can you imagine a takeoff on Petticoat Junction…

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Melissa

Rebecca Black's song "Friday", which has become a Youtube music video spectacle, was actually penned by Josh Kilmer-Purcell. A source close to the writer, Dr. Brent Ridge, had this to say: "It's true. It always takes us so long to get to where we are going because Josh can never decide which seat he should take. I feel that now America knows what I have been living." According to Ridge, Fridays have become a point of contention between the two and Josh is becoming "intolerable." He can't help but look ahead for Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards. Friends and neighbors agree, this is a difficult time for the pair. While Brent is quietly trying to deal with the media attention and recent backlash of the tune, Kilmer-Purcell had this to say: "We we we we so excited. We so excited." One thing is clear: things are not all "fun fun fun" at the Beekman Farm.

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Korey

Kim Kardashian has a professional butt-double and it turns out it's actually Fabulous Beekman Boy Brent Ridge!!

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Delia

After a recent visit to her farm, by Josh and Brent, Martha was overheard muttering, "Who cut the cheese?" The quote was printed in The National Enquirer along with those nasty rumours that Charlie Sheen is now out of the closet and admitting that he's been in love with Aqua for years. He wants Josh to be his "kept" mistress and he is buying him a penthouse in the same neighborhood with Jen Aniston. Of course, Brent is beside himself and threatening to hook up with Martha and have her love child.

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Cathy W.

Brent and Josh splitting up – Cause – Brent found a hugh dust ball in his closet that Josh put in there for reasons we all know.Undeniably flustered, Brent frantically looked for a dust broom, NONE, Josh threw them all out. Apparently it was heard Josh saying "paybacks are hell".

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Edna Stern

Changing the subject. Just finished reading Bucolic Plage.. So the reason Josh picked corn tassels—That corn was being raised for hybrid seed corn.

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kelly

Beekman farm will play host to the 2012 " Nudist in the garden" festival sponsored by local nudist colony. Reservations are currently available but membership ID badge is required ( where do they put it?)

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Ken Newman

A national conservative organization has petitioned the Planet Green Network to pull selected promotional ads for Season 2 of The Fabulous Beekman Boys. The demand states that Beekman ads are using clandestine code phrases, such as " shave your llama " to convey illicit messages to corrupt the youth of our nation. Beekman spokesman Dr. Brent Ridge issued the following response to national media. " These allegations are groundless and pure fantasy. The Fabulous Beekman Boys show has never and will never attempt to disseminate any subliminal content. As far as we are concerned they can all go "Wrap our Soap".

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denise

Scandal….really? I heard that the judge in California has finally banished Lindsay Lohan to the east coast to do community service on the Beekman Farm. She will join Charlie Sheen there, who has entered a seclusive rehab program with the good Dr. Brent.

However, Polka Spot is HORRIFIED that she is now sharing her celebrity status. Miss Spot and Lohan have been engaging in frequent cat fights on the farm. Lohan has yanked at Polka Spots gorgeous locks,as Lohan suspects they are really hair extentions and not really Polkas hair, at all.

Meanwhile , Polka Spot has decided to launch her own investigation into the Sheen problem. Polka did discover a large mound of a powdery white substance in the back of the goat barn, while sniffing around for clues.

Since the sniffing around part,She has been seen in actual frolic in the field and grinning for no reason at all. She also has been seen with Lohan riding on her back, with both making frequent trips to and from the barn at break neck speed.They appear to have made amends and to be the best of buddies now.

Polka never did locate Charlie who became oppositional and defiant at Dr. Brents insistance he purge his bad boy ways, by being on KP duty and shining the leaves on the houseplants in the farmhouse.

You know, Sheen is rumored to be cloistered in the crypt located on the property. He can be seen conducting seances and summoning all "goddesses" as he attempts to channel his inner farmer…..WINNING 🙂

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Derrick Traylor

Garth and Doug have been spotted in Key West, FL, March 2011. It is believed they are both recuperating from a hightened level of celebrity and divaness. They have been spotted in very large Jackie O sunglasses and Princess Grace scarves whle riding their bicycles around the island. Citizens of Key West have embraced their flamboyance and stardom, we welcome them and The Fabulous Beekman Boys!

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Cindy

Episode One: Growing your own takes on new meaning as The Beekman Boys invest in hi-tech hydroponics due to sagging soap sales.

Episode Two: Martha is their first angel investor. Is it back in slammer for the domestic diva with poor investment skills?

Stay Tuned: Brent, Josh and Martha as model cellies, makeover Sing Sing.

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Nancy S

Item seen in the Sharon Springs Enquirer: Which troubled young "starlet" was seen touring properties in Sharon Springs with her on again off again girlfriend. She was overheard to say " If Josh and Brent can do it so can we and I just spotted a nice little jewelry store."

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JoannaH

No scandal needed boys!Mr. Sheen is a train wreck…..your show (and website) is as addictive as the stuff he takes! Beekman is always a blast and I am waiting for the second round my dears!

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Sadie

In season three Brent and Josh catch the fish farming bug and try their hand at backyard Tilapia farming using sustainable aquaponic methods. Rumor has it Josh has filed a patent for his new method of fish farming which he has renamed AQUA-BRA-nics. Stay tuned to see how the Beekman Boys bring fresh sustainable fish from tit to table.

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SABRINA

This just in, in a strange Darwinian turn of events it is finally revealed that Polka Spot is indeed, not a Llama at all…in fact HE is a Red Heeler with a rare pituitary disorder.

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J Fin

From a posting on the White Tomato Soup Story. . .

Can’t wait for the show’s new season to start! Break a leg!

And speaking of breaking bones, . . . There’s a scandal, After being seen hanging out for an inordinate amount of time at the local woodworker’s shop, Dr. Brent’s leg is broken by a crazed, pitchfork-wielding madwoman, just moments before townspeople reported spotting a scantily clad, somewhat stressed out wench, scouring the countryside looking for goldfish food.

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tmonster

At the end of this news cast we have a short news release intended to clear all parties in the "Beekman Boys and Martha Stewart, inc." grudge that has arisen and culminated over the past several days: (Brent, Josh, and Martha together on set)

Martha: We would like to announce that the mud slinging over the last few days has been laid to rest.

Brent: After much discussion and airing of possible problems between all of us, we wish to let our fans and the public know that we all have been taken in by a fourth party.

Josh: No it is not Aqua.

Martha: No, not dear Aqua, I would still like to know how she pulls off the Gold fish thing? Well, Alexis seems to have been planting rumors and innuendo into all of our lives. Trying for another show she has been quite desperately trying to drive a wedge between Brent, Josh and myself. I do love these young men and yes Brent most decidely. Enough so that I am leaving my empire to him to run if I should ever die. Alexis has been hacking computers, using friends to further rumors and other nasty things. None of this comes as a shock after that horrible little show of hers. She had been shown the door so to speak…and was very resentful(Wipes hard to see tear).She was sooo mean. I am sorry for all of this. I think we all are still very good friends, family really…Its a good thing.

Brent and Josh nodding in unison.

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Ken Newman

BREAKING NEWS !!! The U.S. Coast Guard announced today it has boarded an adrift Chinese flagged freighter off the coast of California. Seized were 10,000,000 neatly wrapped bars of counterfeit Beekman 1802 soap. Also taken in the raid were 150,000 metallic llama figurines coated with toxic lead paint. When questioned by national news media Josh Kilmer-Purcell stated," It's ridiculous for anyone to think they could sell Beekman branded merchandise in those quantities. There aren't enough goats in Schoharie county to produce that much milk. Deb would explode if we gave her that kind of soap order and every person we know would come down with carpal tunnel trying to wrap all those bars."

When asked for a comment Dr. Brent Ridge stated, smiling into the camera, " This whole incident, while regrettable can have a positive outcome. I intend to treat this as a goal setting exercise for the Beekman 1802 brand. I feel these figures are attainable in the coming year."

At that, Mr. Kilmer-Purcell was heard to gasp something akin to, " Oh dear God no ", as his eyes rolled back and he collapsed to the floor. As the media was being ushered out Polka Spot the llama could be seen administering CPR while Darkness the goat attempted mouth to mouth resuscitation. Follow ups will be posted as they become available.

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Kelley Suhr

Charlie Sheen's twins whisked to The Beekman for safe keeping. Court names Polka Spot guardian.

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Dorothy Hayes

Break news……….Farmer John has Charlie Sheen hidden in the barn. Rumor has it that Charlie is being force fed goat milk.

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Tracy Best

Love Triangle on the farm! Brent reveals his undying love for Martha Stewart. Martha, in a press conference aimed at quelling the rumors of an affair, states that her heart belongs only to Josh!

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Cliff

A drunk and naked Josh Kilmer-Purcell allegedly trashed his room at The Plaza Hotel early today in a frantic bid to find his wallet and cellphone after partying with an adult film star, authorities said. The adult film star called the front desk from Room 1832 — which features a pink-and-white stripped door — and reported that Josh was passed out on the bed. "He was fearing for his life and was naked," a source told the website. "Josh was incoherent but started screaming for a bloody mary at the cops. They recognized him immediately because of his goldfish breasts.

Dr. Brent Ridge pleaded not guilty to felony grand theft charges. He is accused of stealing a $2,500 bar of soap from a Sharon Springs shop. He was released on $40,000 bail.

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MitchellC

Paris Hilton just birthed a Beekman goat and threw it at Lindsay Lohan. zomg.

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Margaret

Item: A prominent resident of Sharon Spring has been seen "Model Walk Streaking" on Main Street and has caused massive trafic congestion. City council is considering the purchase of a survalence camera – a first for Sharon Springs. This, also, has started copy cat streaking in small town all across America.

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Kristi

Aqua spotted in Wisconsin protesting for teacher and nurses! Gold fish for the cause!

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pumpkin

Pumpkin rights advocates to boycott all pumpkin tossing events in upstate New York.

In a show of solidarity with the popular veggie, the Beekman Boys will host a carved turnip contest at the Sharon Springs Harvest Festival. BYOT, please.

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tmonster

Folks, As you all know we have been closely monitoring the goings on at Beekman Farm and bringing you the news as it happens…The lastest update we have from a not yet named but very reliable source is that all the drama started as far back as the day of the goats mating and fastidious well groomed Brent Ridge was overheard exclaming in disbelief when he was told that the horrible smell of urine was emanating from the beard of the billy goat. When informed of this particular "mating ritual" Brent, with an appalled look of disdain replied it must be a "goat thing". Of course by the time this made it to air it had turned into a "Good Thing" and the grudge was on…more as it is made available to us.

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Carla Holt

Live footage from the Sotomobile..Pastor Fred Phelps steps out following our very own Josh doing his best Model Walk!

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Carla Holt

Live from the Sodomobile..Pastor Fred Phelps steps out doing his best Model Walk!

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