Klaus always knows how to make the best of a bad situation.  We had a bit of a storm here.  Klaus was fortunate not to lose the roof over his little head.  He didn’t even lose a bottle of liquor.  But how will Klaus stay warm?

Up in the Alps where Klaus was “born” they are used to going for many weeks without power.  It’s all early to bed and rise with the sun.  Sleeping when the sun goes down is hard for a little guy who is used to staying out all night long and carousing.

It takes a strong constitution to survive without good ice.  Klaus lost power three days ago and it’s not been easy for him to make that adjustment for no cold drinks.

Fortunately for Klaus, he has two Norwegian woodstoves to keep the home fires burning.  Plenty of dry wood fuels the stoves and Klaus appreciates attention he’s been getting from his admirers out in the woods.  The woodland creatures are making their way back to their homes after hiding out from the hurricane.

Klaus has a couple of chainsaws (small ones) and some splitting axes for all the new fallen wood.

His friend Lily the woodland fairie met him by the small woodpile and they built a campfire to release the spirits of the trees that fell during the “big wind”.

Even the other tree gnomes that live in the forest lost their homes.  Klaus has been busy gathering them together.  He needs their help chopping down fallen trees and occasionally offering them a drink from the flask on his chest.  He’s been quite industrious and he is getting everyone rather smashed.

Time to take the chain saw away from him.  There is nothing worse than a drinking gnome injuring himself on a chainsaw when he’s had a couple too many.

When Klaus gets cold he makes his way through the woods and back into the house.  The Jotul stove upstairs sports a Le Creuset teakettle.  It spits steam merrily away, readying Klaus’s friends for a nice pot of warming tea.  Klaus is rather fond of tea and his woodland friends cannot wait to get a buzz on.

But what should go into the mug?  Today Klaus has a powerful thirst for a cocktail named the Wood Splitter’s Dilemma.

In this strong drink, Klaus has started with a pot of dark, black tea.  A good “cuppa” tea is always a good start towards an intoxicating drink.  What comes after intoxication is usually dancing.  Currently all Klaus wants to do is sleep.  Maybe sneak some wood cutting in, running around with the woodland fairies and of course some drinking.

That cup of dark tea needs something to bind it together.  A bit of Bourbon perhaps.  Klaus is ever so fond of Four Roses Bourbon.  He likes the Small Batch version because of the soft, expressive nose.  He also likes his tea to be corrected by some of the Royal Rose simple syrup of Three Chiles.  Spicy and sweet, the Three Chiles is the perfect warm up for his little ceramic stomach.

Klaus has a container of Bitter End, Mexican Mole’ Bitters at the ready to go along with his Bourbon, hot tea and spicy simple syrup.  Just a couple drops of the fire driven chocolate- laced bitters will get his little ceramic heart started anew.

And what better way to warming?

So into the cups go some Four Roses Small Batch Bourbon, Royal Rose- Three Chiles simple syrup and hot tea plus a few drops of liquid chocolate driven love make up this pot of healing.

Life is good.

No wood problems here!


Wood Splitters Dilemma


Four Roses Bourbon (Klaus likes the Small Batch)

Black Tea

Royal Rose Simple Syrup of Three Chiles

Bitter End Mexican Mole’ Bitters



Heat a pot of water on your wood burning stove

Pre-heat the tea mugs with hot water

Add 2 ounces of Four Roses Small Batch Bourbon to the mug

Add 2 Tablespoons of Three Chiles Simple Syrup

Add Hot tea

Drip about three or four drops of the Bitter End Mexican Mole’ Bitters over the top


Yodel! Yodel!  And drink some spiked tea with the woodland fairies!



by Warren

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So we got our power back yesterday. Internet and heat by the end of the day. It’s a lovely sunny day here in Sandyland. But tonight — we’re joining the Wood Splitters in their dilemma. Hope you and yours are okay. Thanks for the always-fun and tempting gartending.