James Would Get Really Fat Living in the Country

It’s Episode 9 already? My God, this show is so great it’s feels like it’s episode 3. We only have a few left. I think I’m going to cry when it ends. For real. I’m going to cry. As usual, for this recap, I’ll use the goat system to rank what I see, and it will indicate whether I will follow the Beekman Boys’ lead and leave New York City.

It’s still winter. I hate winter. It’s cold. There’s nothing growing. You have to sit around inside all the time. Brent decides to use the time to come up with ideas for expanding the business. I’d rather go to a movie. There are no movie theaters in the country. One goat.

Cheese. The Beekman Boys have been making cheese. They have been sending alot of it to Martha Stewart. Brent has discovered, however, that Jean Georges, famous chef, is opening a new restaurant and is looking for some tasty cheese. It is, he says, the opportunity of a lifetime! And while that may be a bit of a stretch, it is an opportunity. Brent decides Josh has to cook for Jean Georges. I’ve known Josh for ten years and he’s never cooked for me. Can he even cook? I guess we’ll see. I like opportunities, and I like risk. Four goats.

Brent practices his French, which is pretty limited. There are some good laughs. I’m all for good laughs. Four goats.

Brent wants to make all of the food for Jean Georges with things from the farm. The chickens, however, have not been laying eggs. Brent goes to Farmer John for advice on how to make them lay eggs. Farmer John says to add some hay and a light. That’s a good deal for Brent. Josh cooks all the food, and he adds hay and light. Four goats for the strategy, and for avoiding the hard stuff. If living in the country can help me learn to do that, I’m all for it.

Josh has to check on baby goats. They’re really cute. Farmer John has to come up with new names. I’m great at making shit up. I want that job. Four goats.

Josh cheffing it up. Food looks good. Real good. Brent doesn’t like it. I’d like it. I’d like just about anything if someone spent all day making it for me. Three goats.

Friends come over. They’re rocking fur coats. I rock a fur coat. They go ice skating. I played hockey as a kid. Woohoo! Four goats.

Brent checks on the chickens. There are only a few eggs. Don’t like the idea of having to rely on chickens to make a living.  One goat.

They drive into New York. It’s a nice long drive. I like long drives. They bicker. I listen to music and think about weird shit. Here’s to long drives. Four goats.

Josh is cheffing it up in Jean Georges’ kitchen. There is lots of pressure. It’s hot. There are sharp shiny things everywhere. He’s wearing an awesome chef hat. Five goats.

Brent still practicing his French. I like the dedication. Four goats.

Jean Georges shows up. Dude cooks righteous food. He lives in NY. Bad for the country. You can’t get food like his out of the city. There’s McDonalds and fried chicken at the local gas station. Five goats for Jean Georges. One goat for gas station chicken.

The Master Chef tries Josh’s food and the Beekman cheese. He likes it. He loves it! Five goats for success!!!

I’ve known Josh for ten years. He has never cheffed it up like that for me. Negative one goat.

They’re back at the mansion. Two bonus goats because they live in a mansion. They are eating dinner, celebrating Josh’s culinary triumph. Brent starts drilling Josh on goat breeds. He is using flashcards. I have flashbacks to my childhood and blackout for a minute. Brent needs to chill. Eat dinner and chill. One goat.

Total number of categories: 15

Total number of goats: 50

Average number of goats: 3.333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

Look out country, here I come!

by James Frey

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Nathaniel Shell in D

John B, I like how you put that and it's so true. We all can find bits of our self in everyone. We really are more alike than we are different.

You really need to quit harping about Mr. Frey and hoping he turns gay. He is married to what I'm sure is a wonderful lady and has a precious little girl. If he did such a thing it would destroy his family. Not good, we need great positive heterosexual friends in this country to counter balance all the hatful ones that want to legislate against us and keep us second class citizens. It makes me nuts when I hear a woman looking at good looking gay man and say "What a waist". So many hetro men think we all want them and thats why so many of us get beat up. If you see a great looking man and he isn't gay don't say anything, think to yourself what a looker and keep going with your mouth shut. I was gay bashed once just because I smiled at a man. I wasn't even thinking anything it was a reflex and I was attacked. I don't mean to sound preachy, I just want folks to think about what they are saying.

Love and peace to you John and to all that may take a word of wisdom.

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John Black

Nathaniel et al

hmmm honestly if we think about it all great long lasting gay relationships are mirrors of yours, mine and theirs.

When we get down to the basic roots of life we are all more alike then we are different. Yes yes yes we are not alike but we all share similarities. In all relationships there is the fussbudget make a list check it twice seeing who is naughty and nice guy ie your other half, Brent and sad to say me… But also my Dad, my Paternal Grandmother, my brother in his marriage and half of all the gay couples I have know in my life. I guess this is the reason why to this day I still long to have that again after losing my partner years ago. Note to self (marry someone your own age next time)…

I honestly think that one of the reasons the show is successful, other then the darling and incredibly handsome and I hope to be converted to gaydom James, is the fact that most people can look at either Dr. Brent or Josh and see themselves or their own partner and laugh, get angry, sigh, or just mutter and relate.

I have enjoyed the show and really enjoyed the aftershow blogs and looking at James' pic weekly.

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Nathaniel Shell in D

Now I'm a big city boy but I lived for a sort time on my fathers farm in New Mexico (no comparison to the Beekman, I hated it). It had it's folksy things and people, but mostly it was a drudge. We had a small theater in town, the Iris and it was a fun place to get away for a cheap movie. I wish we had a nice gay couple to spice things up back then.

Now days, we are the nice gay couple with all the fluffy white dogs, Halloween stuff and Christmas decor. All the kids around here know my other half makes the best cookies as soon as it gets cold outside and we pass them out freely. So many things about Brent and Josh remind me of us. I would be Josh and Steve would be Brent. I get so tickled watching the things they do and say and I just love to read the next posting from James. I found myself going online the very next day to see what he wrote and it wasn't posted yet. DAMN!!! I also love all the comments that you all make too. Keep it up cuz I'm gonna miss you till this comes back next summer.

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Kurt

What's with all the crowing roosters in the hen house? Fertilized eggs do not make for good anything except baby chicks. You boys sure you live on a real farm? Or maybe the producers need to spend a couple nights in the barn to get the smell and taste of it.

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Karen

aha, James….I always enjoy your recaps, but as a Schoharie County resident, I'd like to correct a statement of yours: "There are no movie theaters in the country. One goat."

In downtown Cobleskill, the quaint Park Theatre, currently showing "Inception," charges only $4 admission and offers a box of popcorn for $1! 5 goats.

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RainLily

To Brent…

…FIRST eggs….? 😉

Still lovin' the show!

I've been watching the repeats all afternoon.

Timer went off…I gotta get the sourdough out of the oven!

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Tricia

brent, stop and look at Josh… He is a kind and loving partner. He wants u to love him and show him. When he kisses u , u turn ur head and get it on the cheek. Take him to a resturant with tablecloths. Go to his bookreadings. And stop the lists. You boss him around, can't u say it nicely? If u don't open ur eyes , u will lose him. He is a gem. Speak kindly and laugh more often

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patty

Glad to see Sharon Springs portrayed in a good light. When growing up I don't have many good memories of the town, seeing the show and seeing many of the good places there, bring back the good memories I do have. Although Sharon has gone through many changes over the years many things have still stayed the same. It is also nice to see the openness of the village to 2 people without prejudice. Thank You Brent and Josh & farmer John, as well as Garth and Doug, for changing the minds of many small minded people. Good Luck to u all.

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John Black

LOL thanks Andre that was exactly what I needed to snap me out of my funk…. And agree about Kitchen… lol… actually this is one of the few "reality" shows I actually watch and if it was not the fact it was 2 "country club members" I would not be watching it. 😉

Ok back to the grind of the day…

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Andre Jones

John BLAAAAAAAAk,

At least it wasn't Hell's Kitchen that show is sooooo stupid. Have some fun today.

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Andre Jones

And I think you will soon be sported with a "Beekman Tee" and a pair of Polka Spot boxer shorts.

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Andre Jones

Flash cards work great as a learning tool, and Josh was so funny, Scoobydoo? LOL.

Josh has a special smirk of amazement for the things Brent comes up with. If you don't have partner with irritating traits, what good is sarcasm! I have to give these guys 5 goats-sorry.

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John Black

Jean-George,Jean-George,Jean-George,Jean-George,Jean-George,Jean-George,Jean-George

Just had to do it… all night long I had dreams of Curious George and billy Jean King, Bravo's Top Chef and Martha testing dog beds….

Not sure which is worse the episodes when Farmeress John sobs or the name dropping by the Doc….

James turn for me and take me away… 😉

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John Black

Oh James would the urban landscape be the same if we lost you too. Is it not enough that all the great men are headed to the country….. but anywhooo…Unless the country meant me in designer frocks ala Eva Gabor in Hooterville with a hubby that already had the financial means to keep me in designer frocks AND this is the most important part said pastoral glen was below the Mason Dixon line and there was no snow covering the hills and dales and the chickens didn't need hay or a light.

Well to the episode… As I said in another section of this site while I love the show I honestly thought if I heard the name Jean George one more time I would have to throw my pitcher of Southern Comfort Manhattans at the screen.

I can only imagine what space in heaven the saints have saved for our dear poor Josh. I mean I love Dr. B as well but oy vey the Dr. needs to chill a bit… You are their friend tell them…. I still say they need a Pembroke Welsh Corgi maybe the training of a puppy is what the Dr needs to finally break his OCD….

Anywhoo… great job as always James and if you really really do flee to the country think about taking me too…

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Frank Corey

I think James moving to Sharon Springs as Josh & Brent's neighbor would result in an Emmy for sure

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