Dmitri Mendeleev is generally credited with the publication of the first widely recognized periodic table in 1869. He developed his table to illustrate periodic trends in the properties of the then-known elements.
But what is not commonly known is that he based the lay-out of his now-famous table on the
Alchemists’ Periodic Table of the Elements of Holiday Majick.
Over the hundreds of years since its inception many of the properties of the Elements have been forgotten or lost, and we are going to need your help in re-discovering
Each day on our
Facebook page we’ll post a new Element and let you come up with the best story of its properties. At the end of the day, the story that is best will be included in the slideshow below in the “Official New Modern Version of the Alchemists’ Periodic Table of the Elements of Holiday Majick.”
You’ll go down in hi-stoor-reeeee (at least the Beekman version of it)
The Alchemists of Beekman 1802 discovered Zirconium quite by chance when they accidentally dropped a snow globe depicting the village of Sharon Springs onto the laboratory floor, smashing it to pieces. The lab was quickly awash in a shimmering glow, similar to the twinkles one sees across the surface of the landscape when awaking to new snowfall on Christmas morning. Previously these sparkles were thought to be diamond chips dispersed from passing zeppelins. But after further testing, these snow sparkles were ascertained to be Zirconium molecules, which form when sunlight strikes the Indian Ocean at a 32 degree angle. These Zirconium molecules evaporate into the sky and are swept across the globe by typhoons, until they are finally shaken free by the vibration of reindeer hooves on the clouds.
The first BEEKMAN Nobel Laureate is Ken Newman
for rediscovering the properties of Germanium
The origin of Germanium has always been a mystery. Many in the scientific community believe its nomenclature is incorrect. However, as any evidence to disprove the accepted theory of its beginnings has never been put forth, its designation on the Alchemists’ periodic table has remained unchanged since the only known example was discovered in the rural countryside of England in 1945. Recently several documents, classified top secret for nearly 75 years, were released to the public on the Wikileaks web site. The revelations revealed in these long suppressed investigations are today shaking the foundations of modern science. On Christmas Eve 1945 a massive explosion, high above thick cloud cover, was reported by hundreds of British observation posts and home guard coastal spotters. The event was “officially” recorded as the malfunction and premature detonation of an off course German V2 rocket. On Christmas morning, wreckage believed to be associated with this event was recovered from several remote pastures and hillsides. Soon the event was forgotten, just another insignificant chapter of the conflict that was raging around the globe…until today. The amazing events of that fateful morning can now be told. A recovery unit had discovered a large portion of the destroyed rockets tail section standing vertically in the deep snow. Radiating twenty feet outward from this obelisk was an area of lush green grass and magnificent blooming flowers. As the team approached closer they reported an overwhelming feeling of warmth, compassion and good will. Later detailed examination of the artifact revealed a tiny sliver of an unknown metal lodged in a depression in the fuselage. It was discovered that proximity to this tiny fragment imparted emotions of goodwill and charity. Further research noted this phenomenon had presented itself among the populace along the wreckage’s entire route of transport. It was secretly surmised that as the incident took place on Christmas Eve, this unknown metal might have been a tiny fragment from Father Christmase’d shepherd’s staff or a flake from his sleigh’s runners. Speculation was that Santa, encountering this object of destruction, could not bear the thought of such chaos and intervened. Sadly, all attempts to duplicate this mystical substance that radiated the “Spirit of Christmas” failed. Indeed the tiny fragment defied analysis by the world’s most advanced researchers. Not wishing to reveal to the general population the existence of the miraculous nature of this element, it was simply given the name Germanium in reference to how it was acquired and assigned a place on the Alchemists’ table. Unconfirmed statements suggest the fragment, in times of crisis, has been secretly carried to several meetings of world leaders in hopes its influence will prevail. As of this writing, these events have still have never been officially acknowledged.
The second BEEKMAN Nobel Laureate is Amy Wexler
for rediscovering the properties of Livermorium
Livermorium is a synthetic super heavy element that is very new on the periodic table of elements and it is one of the heaviest most elusive elements ever discovered. The obscure sciences team that synthesized it, and the space community have remained extremely quiet about it’s secret history. Until now. Christmas Eve of the year 2000 in the small village of Tula 120 miles just South of Moscow, Father Frost (or as we call him Santa) was delivering toys’ to all the children sweetly sleeping, warm in their beds. The village of Tula is well known for it’s Russian gingerbread filled with jam and sweet condensed milk. Santa went from house to house, and all of the good children would leave him plates and plates of the gooey rich cake. He couldn’t resist the wonderful sweets, and didn’t want to make the children sad, so he ate more and more. Santa was feeling heavier and heavier as he squeezed his full belly down each chimney. When he reached the last house in the village, he was saving his finest doll for a good girl named Veronika Livermorium, but when he got halfway down the chimney he became stuck. No matter what Santa did, he could not get up or down. Dangling mid air over the fireplace he began to cry for help. Veronika and her father appeared and were startled to see the chubby man struggling to free himself from his tight spot. Veronika pleaded with her father to help him because Christmas was going to be ruined for many boys and girls. Well, It just so happened that the little girls’ father was a rocket scientist, who knew, with the help of just the right people they could get him out. He called in an emergency team from The Russian Federal Space Agency to analyze the situation. In a stroke of genius, they came up with a plan to tweak a synthetically produced element heavier than Santa to provide a nuclear fusion burst to move old Saint Nick from his spot and send him up out of his tight squeeze, with a trampoline like effect. Upon the nuclear reaction of the element Santa was launched forward with a centrifugal force seventeen thousand times greater than gravity and made it to all of his stops in 4.25 one hundredths of a second. The scientists from the agency without fanfare added the element Lv or Livermorium to the The Alchemists periodic table, in 2012. Naming it after the scientist and the little girl that saved Santa and the millennium Christmas.
A rare two-time BEEKMAN Nobel Laureate
Ken Newman re-discovers Lutetium
Lutetium is one of the more obscure elements in the alchemists’ toolbox. The element itself is highly prized for use in the manufacture of talismans and amulets. It’s mystic ability, under the proper conditions, is to act as a binding agent to store and release knowledge. It is commonly referred to as, “the stone of inspiration”. This is a misnomer, as the element is actually a metal and must be used in an amalgam with several magical minerals for its’ power to be realized. Mystic history credits Merlin with its origin but references to it predate him in ancient Druid texts. Obscure folk tales tell of its’ gifting, in the form of an ornate tree of life charm, by Cerridwen, the Welsh goddess of magic, knowledge and inspiration to Saint Nicholas. Her intent being on his annual Christmas Eve journey around the world, it be used, at his discretion, to dispel ignorance and bestow the seeds of enlightenment. Another common myth is that this tree shaped charm is effective in repelling the creature known as “ Krampus”. There is a theory that this charm may have been responsible for the ending of the “Dark Ages” in Europe and lit the spark of “ The Age of Reason”. The formula for the refinement of Lutetium has been lost. The only surviving reference to its use is this translation of an ancient Druidic poem. “In cloud free skies the moon doth rise. The soul in light, is bathed tonight, and clothed in fire, the mind’s alight. Behold, the gleam of Cerridwen’s eyes, stir the cauldron, darkness dies. The door flung open, the gate unbarred, It flows unhindered, be on thy guard. Of Blodeuweod, Arianrhod, Cerridwen formed. The circle closes, the spirit warmed. Down the hammer, stoke the forge, summon the Phoenix with flame to purge. Hammer the wisdom into the stones, In heart, in heat, come sear these bones. Stir the cauldron, see her eyes, dance the dance, the knowledge flies. Bonded, twisted, bound, entombed, Say the words and see it bloom. Pour the metal, form the charm, Breathe the words that bind the harm. Strike the mold, claim the prize, Now be ye the gleam in Cerridwen’s eyes. “
BEEKMAN Nobel Laureate
Rosemary Rowles re-discovers Darmftadtium
Years ago, there were two young people in their twenties who shared surprisingly many similarities, but it was more surprisingly that they did not know each other. Shizuko Matsuyama was from Tokyo, Japan and Danny Schaefer was from New York City, United States. They were born on different days, but their birthdays were not even one-week separated, also making them shared zodiac. Their personalities were almost same, they were both called by their middle names, and they even caught the same disease on the same day. The two first met in a Christmas Eve Mass in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. They were so astonished when they discovered their similarities that soon afterward they became great friends. Shizuko and Danny spent the next-year Christmas in Danny’s hometown, decorating his house. Danny was hanging some mistletoe for decoration and Shizuko was taking out the Christmas manger from the attic to the garden when she spotted something inside it. It seemed as a kind of transition metal, but she didn’t know. The girl asked Danny, who also had no idea – they were smart, but they were not chemists. Feeling embittered, they sneaked into a nearby chemistry laboratory and tried to figure it out. Finally, Shizuko accidently dropped her gingerbread on it and a single atom of the isotope darmstadtium-269 was detected. They were still clueless, but they realized this was something new. Suddenly, they seemed to hear a voice saying that Shizuko and Danny would not have the patent for this discovery, yet their initials would be used for the name of the new element; and the two would open a new research about how two people from different ancestors could be so same. Then they saw an angel – or the two thought she was an angel – guiding two flying reindeers, taking to Darmstadt the element Shizuko and Danny had discovered. And in a blink of an eye, the two youngsters found themselves back at Danny’s house, he had mistletoe in his hands and she carried the Christmas manger. Shizuko and Danny were puzzled, but they smiled, considering it all as a Christmas miracle. They also promised to each other that this would only be their secret until the day somebody else discovered it. People nowadays say this element was discovered in the year of 1994 by Peter Armbruster and Gottfried Münzenberg under the direction of Sigurd Hofmann, which is quite untrue. But the voice was right about the patent and the name. It is called Darmftadtium, symbolized by “Ds”.
BEEKMAN Nobel Laureate
Rain Gow re-discovers Yttrium
The year is 1878, and the Yuletide season finds Jean de Marignac alone, cold, pondering the elements of life and mankind. “Bah hum bug!” He grumbles to himself as he tinkers away with “rare earth” compounds. As old man winter begins to cloak the city Geneva with wistful flakes of snow, Marignac stands firm on his convictions that there exists a relationship with all the atomic weights of Earth’s elements. He just couldn’t prove it with the metal he found during a holiday in Sweden long ago, just like he couldn’t get himself into the magic of the cherished holiday season. “I’m becoming a Yule bum!” He shouted to various silvery metals and empty glass tubes spewed about the lab table. The table shook in respond, sending hand-written notes with chemical formulas into the room’s cold air. One small bright silvery metal fell unto floor turning it a dark shade of sadness. Realizing his frustration, Marignac scooped up the small rock and held it to his heart. “You should not be the object of my own Yuletide frustrations.” Marignac consoled the dark metal. “This joyous time of the year should not bring us distress, but rather the promise of mystical wonderment.” And as he said that, a bright silvery glow returned to the metal. The tormented chemist saw this as a sign from the Magi. The malleable and ductile metal was placed under a glass dome where its lustrous glow warmed the entire room. He called the silvery metal, Ytterbium for the Swedish town of Ytterby was he discovered it. For it was in there in that quaint village he found the true meaning of the Yule season
BEEKMAN Nobel Laureate
Sally Kenvin for re-discovering Hafnium
Hafnium was discovered one snowy winter night in New York. A wonderful fellow named Josh was searching for his soul mate. Josh had lived in New York for a long time, but was lonely. He knew in his heart that he had found that person in a chat room. His name was Brent. Brent was new to the city, somewhat shy, and also lonely. Josh just had to convince Brent to meet face to face. So he asked Josh to meet him at a subway station close to where he worked. When Josh got to the station, much to his delight, Brent was there. As their eyes met, a miraculous thing happened. The air was filled with a silvery, shiny glimmer. It surrounded them like a million tiny crystals glowing from a mysterious inner light. It created a protective shield around them so nothing then or in the future would corrode their love. It was Hafnium. It is so much like its sister element, zirconium, the two cannot be separated. The effect on Josh and Brent was the same. Surrounded by the majick miracle of hafnium, these two will also always be together.
BEEKMAN Nobel Laureate
Andre Jones for combining Silver + Gold
The golden light slowly appeared on the grizzly unkept face of Gus, as he took kindling from the roaring fire to light his oil lamp. He made his way to the frosty window where he scratched the thick layer of frost with his index finger in the same motion as he picks for gold. Looking out the window, he could see the lit torches along the street, and miners silhouettes walking out of town to their staked claims in search for gold. It was only 3 days before Christmas and darkness was constant, however, Dawson, Alaska was awake with lights, laughter and deception 24 hours a day. It was the gold rush of 1889. Gus, rubbed his eyes and parted his lips for a cup of some strong coffee. His blood started to pump, as he could feel the adrenaline filling his desire to hit big! Gus’s mine was right next to the biggest mining operation in Alaska, and many times he had to fight for his side of the rock with a violent brawl. There was always danger in the wilderness, and for a single man, there wasn’t much to hold on to for life or security, except for that he had a silver medallion from his mother and a pistol from his father. That day at his staked claim, he picked at the rocky ledge until he could no longer feel his fingers, he wrapped his fingers with cotton to stop the bleeding. All he daydreamed was hitting big; he would buy his parents a nice home on the good side of town. If only it could be at Christmas! The mine next to him had constant water gushing over the rocks, and sometimes it would send a torrent of water over his claim. This irritated him, but instead of butting heads he just dealt with it by sending a gesture with his rocking fist. Well, before he gave up his day, he heard the sound of raging water heading towards him. He couldn’t see in the darkness, but the sound became much louder. Before he could make any break for higher ground a burst of water threw him off his feet and carried him off. He flung his arms and hands to stay even with the ground, and out of control slid down an embankment for a least a few minutes. When he finally stopped, he sat up in a large puddle. He was dizzy and as heavy as a 100 lb sack of grain. He stammered to get up but kept falling down. Each time he felt gravel in his hands. He took a handful and brought it close to his eyes. It was shiny gold nuggets as big as popcorn. It was gold. Every handful was shiny gold nuggets. So he filled his bag and his pockets until he thought he had a million dollars. At this point, he had the strength of a behemoth. All he wanted to do right now is go to the claims office to verify his strike. He was almost into town, when he met up with one of the men that worked next to his mine. He wanted to walk by, but the man stopped him with his hand, in doing so a nugget popped out of Gus’s pocket. And then the man took out his gun. Gus clicked the hammer on his pistol while still in his coat and was ready to draw. The man took a few steps back and told Gus to empty his pockets. The two men stood waiting for the next move. Gus said, “I ain’t giving up my gold for no man, step aside!” The man fired his gun at Gus. Gus stammered to the ground hit by the bullet. He put his hand to where he was hit and felt the silver medallion, He wasn’t shot through! So he fired his pistol at the man and wounded him. Gus quickly took the mans gun, “You never met me.” He said, and gathered his gold and ran. Gus never looked back as he ran as quickly as he could towards town. When he got to the claims building he emptied all he had. After all the nuggets were counted by the assayer, he had almost a million dollars! He cashed out and reserved a sled team to get the next boat to San Francisco. It was Christmas day and Gus was ready to leave Dawson Alaska. He scratched the thick frost off his window, and watched the men walking by. He had discovered his realm, his fate and fortune, he was ready to leave this forsaken place…both with the luck of silver and the riches of gold.
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